Somethings are out of my control | prncfan1's Blog

I realize that he caused me pain. The worst pain I ever felt in my life. However I have too much love for him to wish him any harm or misery. I will always wish the best for him. I truly pray for him all the time. It's natural to do. He's in pain, I know that. I am in no position to help him. I feel like he has lost hope, and his behavior was reactive of the situation he's in. I'm not saying it would not have happened, us breaking up, i can't be sure of what was in his mind or how he lived with us being in a long distance relationship. I got confirmation that things are tough. I want to reach out to him more, but I don't want to get hurt more. I don't want him to be angry towards me. Maybe he regrets the expense of a long distance relationship, or maybe he thinks I'm his bad luck charm. I just don't want him to lose hope. Things are not easy in this economy. I am suffering too, but I am not wired to foster hatred, only love and a willingness to help. He may have pushed me out because he felt he had nothing to offer me, but I didn't need anything else but him. How do you tell someone that you want to be there for them, and are still there for them regardless. My love never  shut off. I don't want him to lose faith in the power of God because he is browbeat by the blows  this world has given him. He deserves so much more, but I do not possess the power to make that happen. Am I foolish for wanting to take anything I could off his plate? When you truly love someone you do that. It's not a matter of any other question except how. I just know that I miss him terribly. My heart aches for him. I just miss my best friend. I will continue to uplift his name to God in prayer. Maybe the Almighty and most powerful will see fit to bless him, and give him piece of mind. Give him a bigger purpose, calm his spirit, and give him a sense of direction. He just needs one good thing to happen to get the ball rolling, and to restore his faith. He must feel punished and forgotten. I don't care what anyone says, I know how I feel, I'm here if he needs me, and if he doesn't I must still find a way to live my life without him, and to grow stronger and build my own faith.